The art of the dance.

Surrounded by familiar faces,

Biting my tongue with such patience,

They disguise their disdain,

while I disguise my pain.

Fake smiles in every corner of my eye,

constant exasperated sighs.

Neither of us understands each other’s world,

but they make me feel so small, like a little girl.

Going straight back to the playground,

Watching the girl’s on the merry-go-round

“You’re cooler than me”

I thought then,

I think now.

There goes the girl with faded jeans straight from a trailer,

they only let her in, because it would be discrimination to fail her.

You can be smart, but you are still not a part.

Your scarred, childhood demeanor still shows through.

Your eloquent tongue accidentally silences,

and the fight for survival begins.

How do you calm the lion that still roars with anger from within?

Still holding onto hope, fighting desperately to win.

Every obstacle that has been triumphed thus far,

to be singularly smashed

with one glimpse of the past

exposing enough to be debarred.

You did it again, you’re supposed to hide that part.

You can not succeed in their world until you remember their art.

Fake smiles and passive-aggressive glances are your best chance,

to win their dance.

Stop the aggressive honesty,

you are a woman,

it is not welcomed, please act accordingly.

Gia Marie 2017 ©

 

 

 

 

Stand back.

Who I am, depends.

It depends on tomorrow,

what is my next trial?

upcoming lesson?

I will grow this way or that.

Depending on each decision,

increasing in precision.

Making my life worth living.

Here comes one more tribulation…

can I not get an emotional vacation?

I cannot handle another death..

I am running out of tears,

there are almost none left.

What is the next test?

One more stab from a stranger,

never running out of danger.

Occasionally this evolves into anger.

Before I take another step,

I must take a deep breath…

Gia Marie 2017 ©

Endless battle.

“You only are because of your pretty face”,

I’ve heard from a thousand women,

moving from place to place.

Please, darling, don’t get in a twist,

I have learned over the years that I just have to exist,

th

to receive the up and down, from each girl in whatever town.

The primary reason for success,

is from hard work, nothing less.

I exercise my brain and put it to the test.

Ending mentally exhausting days,

with physical exercise for balance and play.

My only intention is to remain mentally and physically fit.

Your seething hatred is your own hindrance, positivity is your way to acquit.

Please join me in the empowerment of all women alike.

Why must it always be a competition,

always a fight?

Gia Marie 2017 ©

 

Tainted Hero’s.

 

Lifelong heroes.

are no longer victorious.

faltering between the lines of good and bad.

Black and white.

Smoke and lights.

Who to believe..

who has deceived.

Heroes thought to be the mirror of righteousness

are tainted with sins that defy every preconception

I no longer know my direction.

I now realize that Superman & Batman,

are actually a cross between Lex Luther and the Joker.

A gamble, no different than poker.

If the only people I could be certain were good,

just are not.

what then.

is the world really just this bad?

There is not good left?

Or is this my final test?

Can I handle my bubble popped?

My world stopped?

Holding on to memories of a simpler time.

Before I understood.

That even the best of the best,

can turn out to be, not good.

Gia Marie 2017 ©

 

 

 

 

 

#104 Outed – ‘Mentally Ill For Attention’ 

This could not be more accurate 🙂
Aren’t we all just attention seeking?

Mindfump.

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When you’re young (or Donald Trump) you do things for attention; kick, scream and whine. We want all eyes on us and for a child you can understand why. We are born into a world where we have servants who pander to our every need. For about 10 years of your life you are a mini Cesar or a Cleopatra the 7th*. So it is no wonder you expect all the attention to be on you, its 10 years of habit.

So that accurately explains everyone’s childhood in every conceivable case, but what about adults? Well surprisingly in western societies, which value money over virtually everything else, people will do anything for attention. Including living in a jungle with strangers and doing demeaning challenges, to inserting a wine bottle into their vagina on live TV. This is all perfectly acceptable because…

View original post 285 more words

To be ok.

Today I just want to be OK.

I am tired of feeling unwell.

I am tired of feeling different.

I am just tired.

I am tired of the endless mental strain of addiction,

constantly being surrounded by my old habits,

Saying no to socially acceptable alcohol

thus, creating a racket.

NO? Why not?

Tired of having to explain,

it’s none of your business,

it’s none of your pain.

I am tired of this endless pressure weighing on my chest,

like there is a part of me attempting to claw itself out,

and until then, I will never feel rest.

I constantly feel the weight, like I am about to suffocate.

I am tired of worrying.

about everything.

and everyone.

The earthquake across the world,

my friend is going through a divorce,

I am the sole support for a plethora of people,

there are so many people still sick and suffering from addiction.

We are literally responsible for destroying our planet, 

and have done so in less than a century.

There are so many problems that already have solutions.

But our continued through the generation’s, 1% chooses to line their pockets instead of save mankind.

I am tired of all the pain.

I am tired of all the sadness.

I am tired.

Can’t I not get a parking ticket today?

Or not simultaneously get splashed by an ongoing car?

I am tired.

Today, I just want to be OK.

Can I please just catch a break…

Gia Marie 2017 ©

 

 

Bang.

Bang.

Anytime a shot rings out,

The echo continues, while my heart stops.

Then races,

the sweat starts.

I can feel it in my inner being.

I am suddenly transported to a different place,

a different, younger version of myself.

You don’t have time to think,

it’s happening faster than a blink.

Protect your siblings first,

Call for help and save your father.

Then go find his curse.

With the same lack of emotion, she had when she pulled the trigger,

she is now on the phone planning something bigger.

I AM THE VICTIM.

A poor helpless woman she pleads.

While my father with bullets in his back

Lies in the grass and bleeds.

The lies continue to the paramedics, to the police.

Off to your Aunt’s you go, this was your father’s fault.

But, I know better.

I saw the pure hatred in your eyes,

right before you spread your lies.

She fooled them all,

but as soon as she finds her way to life’s gates,

will she stand so tall?

Suddenly the present is back,

where am I, am I ok?

It was just a car backfiring,

I guess I will be on my way.

Gia Marie 2017 ©