As my feet pound on the damp pavement ahead of me, I take in the beauty I am surrounded by. I have always been in awe of nature. Pretty much all nature, even when it has destructive moments. The fact that basically, as humans, we plan; yet no matter how well we plan.. nature still has more control of our event than we do. Well, aside from the harm we continually do to our environment without so much as flinching. But, that topic is for another time.. Our utter lack of control over nature and what it intends to do the day I plan a large outdoor event reminds me of how small I really am in the grand scheme of things. I like not being in control of nature. It’s one less thing I really have to worry about. If it rains, it rains. There is literally nothing I can do to control that. Yes, it may throw a wrench in my afternoon, outdoor run, but… it is what it is. To the gym, I shall go instead! There is no sense in getting rattled about something you cannot control. I have to constantly remind myself of this. Another grand example is other people’s actions. Sometimes, when people lack consideration I am in awe just like when I view nature. I have a hard time grasping the reasoning for people’s actions sometimes. But, I have no control over it. I must drill this into my brain since sometimes as humans we witness some pretty horrendous things that people do to one another.
I have always had the habit of making myself a part of situations that did not involve me originally. Stepping in whether or not I was invited. But, I have a hard time witnessing any type of injustice in this world, without stepping in. Now, you may be saying: “Good for you, standing up to people”. Wrong. I am a woman, and I live in the South. My abrasiveness is not received well in the south. I am often labeled as “bossy”, or just plain a “b!tch”.
Now, sometimes my strong personality, reaps benefits. I find someone who appreciates my blunt honesty, and my intolerance of bs. I find myself in leadership roles or management positions. Until someone decides I am threatening their purpose in life and decides to wage an all out war on me. Now you may find that to be a very specific claim, but it seems to be a repetitive theme in my life. Each year I get a little bit closer to learning how to deal with these women who choose to make me their enemy instead of a friend. They typically do not include me in this decision. As a “strong, independent, woman” I would value another females friendship. I am all about empowering other women since I know we have already been born to the disadvantage of being able to peak in our professional lives the same as a man. The worst part about it is, the women I am referring to.. they are typically a lot like me. I feel like a teenage girl whining because I just want to scream: “WHY DON’T YOU LIKE ME?!”. I always feel that there is a wealth of knowledge we can learn from the other since we both seek it. I don’t want their jobs, I do not want whatever it is they think I am seeking to take from them. I just want their support as being another woman making it in the working world. I have tried a lot of methods over the years to win these women’s favor. I have all but kissed their a$$ in most situations. But, I have yet to win one over once they determined I was their Darth Vader. Now, you may be thinking… “why do you care”. Normally it is being these women take the extra steps to make sure I care.. I have had so many “discussions” with superiors, based on false accusations. Also, I can never figure out what it is what I have done to them to make them seek to destroy. Having studied psychology and sociology I always find it most intriguing when a person simply has no reason to dislike someone. Just, WHY? Of course, I understand that “misery loves company” and I often find these women to be the unhappy versions of myself. Unfortunately, they fail to realize they are responsible for their own happiness, no one else. This often leads me to feel sorry for them and pray for them, to be quite honest. But, to sum it all up, ladies can we not just empower each other, instead of using so much negative energy to destroy one another? I just do not get it. But, I must remind myself.. I have no control over the actions of others.