Some days ..

Some days, my soul aches..

My heart hurts.

The pain cuts too deep….

I can feel too much…..

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Too much hate.

Sadness.

Anger.

I did not ask for this higher sensitivity.

Some days, there is not a coping skill that will help,

there’s just yourself.

Insanity.

Leads to the past…

Thinking of pouring yourself a glass?

Stop.

It will only make it worse.

It will not lift your curse.

Your mind will not stop the race,

not even after your first taste.

Remember who you are.

And where you came from.

The battle is not over yet.

The scars of today,

will remain tomorrow.

But,

perhaps.

Tommorrow will not be filled with such sorrow.

The pain will not be too much.

It will dull itself,

Until the next time, it decides to make you feel the pain,

from not just yourself,

but everyone else.

GIA MARIE 2017 ©

 

Have Faith in the darkest of times..

(*Sub note, I by no means say that God must be your answer to this, I say that whatever it is your faith involves, whether it’s in yourself or worshipping a unicorn, replace where God is mentioned for the same effect, I just find my faith with him)

Thank God for each difficulty you face. Even if it seems so many surround you you are overwhelmed. Lean on your faith. I am personally asking, “Well, OK God, this isn’t the most ideal situation, but what it is that I need to learn from this? Why did I need to experience this to grow?” No matter how bad the circumstances are. The larger the load you carry and the longer you carry it, the stronger you become. So, THANKS, BE TO GOD for my current pain and heartache. THANKS, BE TO GOD that I have the strength through Christ to stand up for what I believe, despite what that costs me. I will never falter my morals to stand with the “IN CROWD” that is just simply not who I am. No matter how many situations I stand alone in, I know I have the Lord to guide me. I do not normally post these things, and I recently feel that I went from “Positive Princess” on Facebook, to “Negative Nancy”. For this, I apologize, but we must all accept our circumstances before moving forward. This is me, accepting. Thanks are to God for waking me up to another beautiful day, meanwhile my heart aches for so many who have not. My heart aches for their loved ones who will never be able to fill the void the loved one left behind. The love that they will never be able to give that person again. Our own selfishness of them not being there for our momentous life moments. Our selfishness of wanting them to have to stay to continue to suffer, despite them being called to the home, we will all eventually (well most) be called to, eventually. So, I ask, what are we to learn from these continued tragedies? What is the message? We cannot let our loved ones continue to die in vain. Ok, random long post over. Doubt many will read, but it felt nice to air this. Sorry, for those of you who find these types of posts “too heavy”…. keep scrolling! I should be back to the Princess of positivity soon. A couple more self-realizations to come before doing so. Peace out, and I thank all of my support-system, there are many days I may have decided to not be here, without you guys  BE THAT SUPPORT FOR OTHERS, my friends,

Gia Marie 2017 ©

Tragedy on a loop.

Tragedy is not a contest,

But, if it were, I might be able to compete.

My life is one tragedy after another,

on repeat.

It finds me no matter how far I run.

No matter how many times I scream, “I’M DONE!”

I cannot take anymore!

Can I not just breathe a normal breath of air?

I do not ask for this despair,

Each time I ache just the same.

Each time it’s harder to bear the pain.

I feel like the weight of the world rests upon my shoulders,

I look in front of me and I can only see more boulders.

I am afraid soon I will break.

My heart can only withstand so much weight before it dissipates.

Gia Marie 2017 ©

Stand back.

Who I am, depends.

It depends on tomorrow,

what is my next trial?

upcoming lesson?

I will grow this way or that.

Depending on each decision,

increasing in precision.

Making my life worth living.

Here comes one more tribulation…

can I not get an emotional vacation?

I cannot handle another death..

I am running out of tears,

there are almost none left.

What is the next test?

One more stab from a stranger,

never running out of danger.

Occasionally this evolves into anger.

Before I take another step,

I must take a deep breath…

Gia Marie 2017 ©

Endless battle.

“You only are because of your pretty face”,

I’ve heard from a thousand women,

moving from place to place.

Please, darling, don’t get in a twist,

I have learned over the years that I just have to exist,

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to receive the up and down, from each girl in whatever town.

The primary reason for success,

is from hard work, nothing less.

I exercise my brain and put it to the test.

Ending mentally exhausting days,

with physical exercise for balance and play.

My only intention is to remain mentally and physically fit.

Your seething hatred is your own hindrance, positivity is your way to acquit.

Please join me in the empowerment of all women alike.

Why must it always be a competition,

always a fight?

Gia Marie 2017 ©

 

Tainted Hero’s.

 

Lifelong heroes.

are no longer victorious.

faltering between the lines of good and bad.

Black and white.

Smoke and lights.

Who to believe..

who has deceived.

Heroes thought to be the mirror of righteousness

are tainted with sins that defy every preconception

I no longer know my direction.

I now realize that Superman & Batman,

are actually a cross between Lex Luther and the Joker.

A gamble, no different than poker.

If the only people I could be certain were good,

just are not.

what then.

is the world really just this bad?

There is not good left?

Or is this my final test?

Can I handle my bubble popped?

My world stopped?

Holding on to memories of a simpler time.

Before I understood.

That even the best of the best,

can turn out to be, not good.

Gia Marie 2017 ©

 

 

 

 

 

#104 Outed – ‘Mentally Ill For Attention’ 

This could not be more accurate 🙂
Aren’t we all just attention seeking?

Mindfump!

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When you’re young (or Donald Trump) you do things for attention; kick, scream and whine. We want all eyes on us and for a child you can understand why. We are born into a world where we have servants who pander to our every need. For about 10 years of your life you are a mini Cesar or a Cleopatra the 7th*. So it is no wonder you expect all the attention to be on you, its 10 years of habit.

So that accurately explains everyone’s childhood in every conceivable case, but what about adults? Well surprisingly in western societies, which value money over virtually everything else, people will do anything for attention. Including living in a jungle with strangers and doing demeaning challenges, to inserting a wine bottle into their vagina on live TV. This is all perfectly acceptable because…

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